


Light of my life

by Lost_Wolf



Category: Original Work
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-31 20:48:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8593171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lost_Wolf/pseuds/Lost_Wolf
Summary: just some poems I have written over the years and it is time that they see the light of the world and not stay locked up.





	1. Dance Of My Life

I sit on the dark side of my mind regretting everything  
That I have ever knew growing up was a lie  
The wallpaper plastered neatly on the walls  
The old stove I used to cook on when the nights got cold  
The clothes I wore forced to look nice for a family I so despised  
A family that didn’t even know my name  
A family who beat me till I’d scarred.  
I was the black sheep of the family  
Always the little odd ball  
Never really grow till about the age of 10  
Demons played in my head  
While I danced the part of the perfect little daughter

1,2..3 1,2..3 1,2..3 1,2..3 1,2..3  
Around and around I went, never thinking about what lies for me  
Only what I had been through,  
The pain I had felt growing up,  
The pain of never being wanted by those who ‘Love’ you  
I chose the cold for they can’t stand it  
The thought of snow sends them into quaking of fear

The lies I have told are nothing  
Compared to the lies my parents have told me  
That they would love me no matter what  
That they would always help me when I needed it  
That they would never judge me, that only god could judge  
These are the lies I was feed the lies I have believed

I look at the snow as it falls down to the ground  
The only thing that can protect me now  
The summer months come and go with no problem  
The winter is long and hard, the cold comes through the house  
Frost covers everything  
The cars, the windows, the hearts of the ones who live here  
My heart was frozen long before I came here  
My heart was frozen when I lost my love for my family  
When I didn’t care whether I lived or died  
When the only thing I loved was my freedom  
When I lived for the feeling of a blade on my skin  
The blood pouring out of each slit I made

I am littered with the ugly little white marks  
I remember why I put each one on me  
Family, friends, boyfriend, enemies,  
Each has a reason for my pain  
Each has a mark that screams their name  
Tattoos litter the arms of the weak  
But scars litter the arms of the brave  
Of the few who chose not to give up when shit got hard  
When every breath you take is labored  
When you can’t feel your hands, or feet  
When you think that it’s time to go home.  
But your heart says ’oh hell no I will still fight for you.  
I’ll still fight for what we stood for  
What we still stand for, for the freedom of the weak  
The freedom of those who have served before us  
For the love of our lives  
When we stand no chance of coming back  
When you are no longer you  
Is when I will give up when you can’t open your blue eyes  
When the last thought is where is my one true love  
That is when I will no longer pump what is needed  
That is when our soul will be free.’  
This is what it means to be a survivor  
To be the one to take a bullet for a random stranger  
To be the one to stand for what has been stolen  
To live forever  
That is being a survivor  
Being the last man standing  
Being the only person to live for another  
Being you

I dance the dance of the perfect little daughter  
Around and around I go  
Spinning and counting over and over again  
1.2..3 1.2..3 1.2..3 1.2..3 1.2..3  
Over and over again in my head  
As the little demons come out to play again  
The dance is closing and so are my eyes  
The floor looks red  
That color, belongs to what keeps us alive  
The blood in our veins and in our mind  
But mine runs freely through the slits in my wrist  
Covering the floor as pours out more   
This is the last dance they will ever get out of me.  
This is the last time that I will breath


	2. Tearless

I don’t cry anymore   
So shed no tears   
Show no fears   
I don’t see  
What’s fake anymore   
Only what’s real  
I can’t feel  
What is here?  
And what has gone away  
I only know that you  
Weren’t here to stay  
“It’s just a cold,  
It’s the flu”  
All the lies you throw  
With a fire behind   
Life flickers in your eyes   
It wasn’t   
Just the flu  
Or a cold  
Cancer that’s   
What it was   
No memory  
No pain  
No movement   
Just DEATH


End file.
